Tag: video games

What’s Unique about Mother? (Thoughts on Earthbound)

When I played Earthbound I saw a lot of things, some good some bad, but not amazing and mostly I saw a typical JRPG. Earthbound is Dragon Quest with a setting swap. This isn’t an insult to the game. It’s simply an acknowledgment that the game isn’t genre defining, revolutionary, or paradigm shifting.

It’s hard to say when I became a “nerd” who played video games.  Acquaintances in grade school might have pegged me as a “nerd” but it was because I took a great deal of enjoyment out too many think fantasy novels.  I got the Nintendo early on in its life cycle but never had more than  two or three games for the system until everyone had upgraded to 16-bit systems and were getting rid of their “obsolete” NESs.  I was there to accept or purchase cheaply their unwanted games.  Games like Bionic Commando, Final Fantasy, The Legend of Zelda, Kabuki, Castlevania, Metal Storm and others.  I even scooped up a copy of the NES Game Atlas.  It was with these 8-bit hand me downs that I became a “nerd”  who played video games, or just a gamer.  But, while all the other nerds were playing and talking about Super Mario World, I was exploring the intricacies of  SMB2 and 3.

I certainly heard people talk about Final Fantasy 3 and Chrono Trigger but I never played them until after the SNES was yesterdays news and people were talking of Saturns, Playstations, and N64s.  My earliest experiences with the SNES were at friend’s homes with games like Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest, Star Fox, and Super Punch-Out.  I missed out on Final Fantasy 3, Secret of Mana, and the Lufias.  I sold my NES and all those games, nearly 50, to get enough money to buy a SNES when it started being bundled with Donkey Kong Country (’95 or ’96, I think.)  Again, many people were moving over to 64-bit systems and just giving away their games, move rental chains too were selling carts at a heavy discount to make way for Saturn and Playstation CDs. With people beginning to talk about 3d gaming and witnessing such early attempts as Jumping Flash, and later more refined ones as Resident Evil, I could only be jealous.  Luckily, I had such familiar, and phenomenal games, as Chrono Trigger and Super Metroid to sooth my gamer’s lust.  Those games that took my breath away and still do.

In 1997, I  succumbed to the marketing blitz of Final Fantasy 7 and sold my SNES and games to buy myself a PSX and that game… I can’t really say I became a fan of the series or JRPGs until then…  That is a different story though, and this introduction has gone on long enough.  What I’m trying to say is all of the above might have something to do with why Earthbound just doesn’t do much for me.

There are a number of games on the SNES that I can play again and again.  All of them I played for the first time more than 1o years ago though, the same is true for many NES games.  On occasion I pick up a game I’ve never played and play through it but I find that a lot of the charm I see in these old games must be supplied solely by me and the personal emotions that are tied up with them.  NES and SNES games I play now are not accompanied by any such emotions and so, the flaws and limitations of the them are much more apparent to me.

Earthbound fans love to talk about the game, and they love to tell you how amazing it is.  I believe them when they tell me these things, but I also believe that much of that pleasure is not in the game itself but tied up in their memories of it.  When I played Earthbound I saw a lot of things, some good some bad, but not amazing and mostly I saw a typical JRPG.  Earthbound is Dragon Quest with a setting swap.  This isn’t an insult to the game.  It’s simply an acknowledgment that the game isn’t genre defining, revolutionary, or paradigm shifting.  Someone I know stated that the Mother series was all about evoking nostalgia but when you have no emotional attachment to the game, and not much to its genre (circa 1995) there isn’t an fuel for the Earthbound to ignite and player’s without a specific history, a cultural reference, are left in the cold.

Did you play Earthbound when it came out?  Did it blow your mind?  How so?  I’d really like some other people’s thoughts on this…

The 10 Things You Absolutely Need to be a Gaming Snob

This set-up is complicated by the fact that no one can quite agree on who to poo-poo and what exactly deserves to have paeans written to its glory. Video games though just aren’t taken seriously and game journalism is seen of more as a cheer team rather than a bastion of stimulating conversation and critique.

Respect to a media isn’t given until those who profess a love for it, denigrate the majority of it… In an effort to bring more creditability to video gaming I’m offering this list of 10 things you’ll absolutely need to be one of those snobbish elitists you’d see if you ever went to art galleries, indy-music gigs, or read the New Yorker…

It seems in order to be taken seriously by the art industry, and the world at large, you have to poo-poo a lot of things while singing the praises of a small few…  This set-up is complicated by the fact that no one can quite agree on who to poo-poo and what exactly deserves to have paeans written to its glory.  Video games though just aren’t taken seriously and game journalism is seen of more as a cheer team rather than a bastion of stimulating conversation and critique.

Respect to a media isn’t given until those who profess a love for it, denigrate the majority of it…  In an effort to bring more creditability to video gaming I’m offering this list of 10 things you’ll absolutely need to be one of those snobbish elitists you’d see if you ever went to art galleries, indy-music gigs, or read the New Yorker…

braid10.  Braid – Braid is the future of video games, movies, life, everything.  Don’t believe me?  Just asks its creator, Jonathan Blow, who has managed to make his own ego the main selling point of this brainy platformer.  Now, you don’t actually have to beat the game, you don’t even have to play it.  Simply mention Braid, or it’s creator, in any video game discussion as an excellent example of form reflecting content, or comment on the delicate and multi-layered story in a condescending voice and you’re peers will soon be asking you what games they should like and why.

zork

9.  Zork – As a connoisseur, a collector, a critic you know the importance of packaging, how the context of an item contributes or detracts from how that item is perceived and interpreted. Zork is one of the most famous PC games ever made, familiar to even those outside of the hobby.  So you know that Zork was originally sold in small plastic baggies with a 36-page booklet, right? and that is the version that you have.  Why is this important?  Because you own a piece of gaming history before it was commercialized, before the hobby was “sold-out.”  It is important to play Zork so that you see just how far the format has degenerated since its inception…  Here is story-telling!  Games today eschew story in exchange for fancy graphics and complex sound tracks, all wrapped around 12 year-old male power/revenge fantasies.  You also need to play Zork, in order to know what a grue is, in case your expertise and right to belittle everyone and everything to do with the hobby is questioned.

It's Thinking...
It's Thinking...

8.  Sega Dreamcast – Sega tried so hard too, The Dreamcast was the companies swan song before they got out of the hardware business altogether.  Why do you need one?  Well because as a snob you know that the biggest isn’t always the best, in fact, you’ve based you’re entire value system around hating and vilifying anything that the majority like.  The Dreamcast is the perfect system, not only because it had a surprising number of great games on it, as well as truly bizarre ones that help your connoisseur cred, but it also failed to be commercially successful.  Not because the system had actual technical flaws, It’s parent company had used up any good-will consumers might have had towards them long before, or a myriad of other reasons. It failed solely because the proletariat failed to perceive its glory, but snobs recognized its greatness which is why they still own one and endlessly talk about how much better it was than the PS2.

Carcassonne_lg

7.  Any board game designed by a German – If you follow the broader world of gaming you know that there has been a recent revolution in the boring old world of board games.  Over the last few years European game designers have muscled in on the boring American market bringing to our shores such games as Carcassone, Puerto Rico, and numerous other board games that aren’t Monopoly or Life with a new skin…  Having at least one of these games shows that your love of gaming transcends boundaries and medias.  It also shows that your snobbery does as well,  “If it isn’t designed by someone with an accent in their name it really isn’t worth playing.”

cash6.  Any game that sells on the secondary market for more than $200 – Obviously it has to be complete…  That cardboard box adds anywhere from $25-$100 dollars to the aftermarket price.  Why do you need one of these?  For a number of reasons: you get to brag to everyone just how much your complete MIB copy of Panzar Dragoon Saga is, not that you care about that sort of thing; it shows that you you take care of your collection, that you are not a gamer, anyone can be that, you are a collector: that you have impeccable taste, others might have to scrape together a small fortune to get their hands on a game everyone, belatedly, recognizes as great, you bought it when it first came out, when everyone else was buying garbage like Killer Instinct you picked up a copy of Earthbound.

sexy, sexy, text
sexy, sexy, text

5.  Softporn Adventure – Software erotica, wasn’t always easy to come by…  In fact digital images of naked women weren’t even possible with early computers, and early attempts at digital pornography are more disturbing than titillating.  Softporn Adventure was one of the first digital attempts at adult oriented gaming.  The game lacks any graphics and is tame even by the standards of its time.  Despite all that the game created a huge controversy and was bootlegged and pirated across America’s high school and college campuses.  This rare piece in your collection tells people your love of the art isn’t bound by bourgeoisie attitudes toward sex, feminism, and class. Bonus snob facts:  This game was originally published by On-Line Systems, which would become Sierra On-line, and is the only game the company made that does not include graphics.  Also Roberta Williams (creator of King’s Quest and other adventure games) is naked in a hot tub on the cover.

Akumajou Densetsu4.  Japanese copies of Games released in English  – That’s impressive that you own Casltevania 1,2, and 3 complete MIB.  Did I tell you I have a copy of Akumajō Dracula, Dorakyura Tsū: Noroi no Fūin, and Akumajō Densetsu?  No, well I do.  What’s that you have Final Fantasy 3?  That’s nice, check out my copy of Fainaru Fantajī Shikkusu.  Things are just better when you can’t understand them, also they have  crosses and boobies in the original versions.

3.  An irrational, undying, love for some game designer – It really doesn’t matter who…  Sid Meier, Hideo Kojima, Shigeru Miyamoto, Tomonobu Itagaki, the Gollop Brothers, Brian Reynolds, Hironobu Sakaguch, the list is endless…  As long as you’ve picked one and will defend any and every game, statement, or bowel movement they’ve ever made.  You’re not a fanboy though, so you’re going to have to dress up your slavish commitment up in big words, and technical terms… Talk about moving the media forward, paradigm shifts, innovative controls,  restructuring design elements, advanced responsive AI, groundbreaking story-telling, etc., etc.

2.  A videoed speed-run of your favorite game, tool assisted doesn’t count – As an expert on all things gaming, you must occasionally show others just how amazing you are at games.  Also, you’re better than them at games.  One of the best ways to do this is to go through a game, preferably a hard one, as fast as you can without dying recording the whole time and then upload it to YouTube where the whole world can bask in the glory that is you… The video above, by Toad22484, is a speedrun of Contra, and it clearly shows how much better than you he is at gaming… With your own you’ll also be able to assert your dominance over the unwashed gaming masses…

you wish you owned it
you wish you owned it

1.  An original arcade cabinet or prototype/demo cart – Either one.  Possessing one of these not only shows you’re better than other gamers, disposable income to blow on superfluous collector’s items…  Having one or multiples of these lets people see how you’re doing your part to preserve video game heritage.  It will also make them jealous.

So there you have it, 10 things you’ll need to enter the gamerati elite.  Best of luck I look forward to our hobby becoming as shallow, hollow, and joyless as other forms of mass entertainment are today!


Franchises that really must end, now, for real, seriously.

I play video games as most of you know, I even get to review them sometimes. As the video game industry has expanded and become more mainstream. It has also become more cautious and established games have become more and more prevalent as publishers look for a sure thing to return on their investment. There are some franchises though that no longer deliver on the promise of great game play, or have become so bastardized and watered down that they bear no resemblance to their progenitors. So here is my list of game franchises that the most be put to rest, some quickly and quietly other violently and extreme prejudice! Now in no particular order:

10. Sonic the Hedgehog – What started as Sega’s edgy assualt on Mario Brothers has become a tired mess. Sonic stopped being good around the 2nd game. The move to 3-d for Mario created new exciting gameplay and opened up the Mushroom kingdom, it put Sonic on rails and saddled him with a terrible camera. I stopped paying attention to the horrors of the franchise when their new game was about a black, gun-totting hedgehog… Please Sega put the poor guy out of our misery!

9. Final Fantasy – I’m a hard core Final Fantasy fan. I own every single one, including FFXI which I played for 25 minutes before deleting from my hard-drive (the irony being that it took me over an hour to install the game and jump through all the hoops SquareEnix wants you too (damn those codes!)). I’m done though now and I’m ready for the next thing. I’m tired of buying these games and playing through them for nostalgia’s sake. The developers must have other ideas and games concepts they rather explore, so why cram that in to a FF and load it with all the baggage that comes with FF, the good and the bad. It’s had a great run but the last few instances have been hurt more by their association with Final Fantasy then helped. XII is a great example of this, a great game with innovative gameplay that takes flack for not being close enough to it’s predecessors. Also I’m sick of whiny spiky haired blond kids being the protagonists and girly goth looking bad guys.

8. Half-Life – the FPS game on the PC, Half-life revitalized single and on-line gameplay when it was originally released, and Valve continues to make great games using the engine, which is what they should be doing more of market the engine and create new content using it. I no longer care about Gordon Freeman and the world he lives in. I’m also sick of waiting forever for episodic content, if you’re going down that route you have to deliver more often than every 2 years. The long wait is half the reason I’m no longer interested in the Half-Life world.

7. Guitar Hero – I don’t want to ever see Guitar Hero IV. There isn’t any need for it, all that needs to be done now is sell music to those who already own the game. There really shouldn’t have been a 2 either. All you need to sell is the engine and the guitar at brick box stores and then sell content on-line through Playstation Home or Xbox Live. There isn’t anything else you can do to change the guitar to make it easier and there isn’t anything new to add gameplay wise (Guitar hero is just a rhythm beat game with a different peripheral).

6 . Pokemon- I’ve caught them all, next please.

5. Warcraft- World or otherwise. I think Blizzard has made enough money cribbing ideas from Games Workshop, let’s see something new now Blizzard (this doesn’t mean Diablo or Starcraft either, new means new).

4.  Halo – Maybe I’m at heart a PC gamer but I’ve never. ever been impressed with Halo and I doubt I ever will. The story-line is cribbed from a half dozen sci-fi standards and is overall weak, as is the gameplay. I’m so glad Bungie left Mircosoft and I hope they never ever make another shooter. Halo is about the most over-hyped franchise ever. Doesn’t help that 80% of the people you’ll end up playing with on-line are immature fucktards.

3. Metal Gear Solid – I love MGS, I forced myself through MGS2 and 3. I’m not buying a Playstation 3 to play the fourth.  I don’t care about Kojima’s take on cold war politics or his convoluted (read: unreadable) storylines. I ignore the storylines completely in Metal Gear, as they make no sense whatsoever, I’m there for the gameplay and that has gotten worse through the iterations. I don’t understand how they teach history and politics in Japan but one has to wonder if illegal substances are involved. Anyway, the gameplay has stalemated and I don’t care about Solid anymore so let’s all move one

2. Mega Man – This is a given. Has any franchise been exploited as much as poor Mega Man? I’ve lost count of the games that have the little blue bomber in them. None of which have been as good as Mega Man 2, which was released in 1989. There you go, 18 years of Mega Man games that can’t live up to an original NES game. The latest games to have his name branded on them are wholly unremarkable. Capcom needs to end it or put the guy out to pasture for a while. We’ve all had enough.

1. Metroid Prime – The first Gamecube game got rave reviews from the industry for bringing Samus into the 3rd dimension successfully. I don’t know what game they were playing. I hated the controls for the game, the cycling through visors, the clunkiness of Samus, and the shrinking of the game world. I think the DS, PSP, and Indie game market on PC have proven that 2d games are still viable.  If you want to continue the Prime series of games Nintendo needs to farm out the coding to someone who knows how to do FPS, maybe make some contacts with PC game developers. Cause they are doing it wrong. End it or fix it.

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