The Big Game

Det. Angland lets Sonny know he won’t be alone for this mission:

 

Yup, I’m sure you’ve all figured out who Frank is in this little drama… Back down at the bar we give Woody the password:

Once again Woody leads us to the back, room and frisks us, this time though he escorts us through the gaming room:

“This must be the big game!”

(the game also plays a dun-dun-duuuhnnn, right here in case you are as thick as a phone book…)

You got to admit that’s a pretty sweet street name…

Moar poker. Same as last time though you don’t have to win as much this time. Once we show these rubes how a real card shark save scums:

“yes, yes I am. I would love to join your criminal syndicate.”

“What?! Seriously, who recruits thugs in their gang based on their ability to play poker? That’s no way to build a criminal organization! No wonder you’re going to get… I mean yes, I am looking for work!”

“Like? I’d love to! Big handsome, strong man like you… I mean, Gosh, females are attractive!”

Moving on up, physically and metaphorically!

“Couldn’t we take the elevator? This isn’t ominous at all…”

This is it Sonny don’t choke!

That can’t be good news…

“I thought I might see your gun tonight but I never thought it’d be an actual gun!”

“But, how could he see through my disguise?! I DYED my hair!”

(FYI – The game is over as soon as I walked through the door… This is all the ending…)

Berserker Barrage!

Hey at least this part is true to life! Cops are terrible shots!

Barrage? Was “hail” already taken? Come on everything else about this game has been a cliche…

“We did it boys! Now it’s time to DANCE!”

(We already have higher than the perfect score! No way this case isn’t going our way!)

The End

There you have it folks! Police Quest! By the way anyone ever heard of that Helicopter Simulator game? I thought I knew all of Sierra’s titles but that one is new to me. Also, check out that high score! Funny enough that isn’t the highest it can be! Turns out I missed a point somewhere along the way. Probably reading something or other… Anyway, how do I know that Sonny Bonds is gay?

What’s a tittie?

Oh, Sonny…

Thanks for reading! See you next mission!

BUSTED!

These drug dealers sure do take their time… Sonny takes the opportunity to load his gun and strike poses:

Okay, enough looking hot with a gun, back into the bushes, and to waiting:

It appears that both these characters and their dialog came straight out of central casting…

As a game for children I like that they can kill your character off in one of many ways but using anything more profane than butt is not allowed…

“Nothing gets by you Sonny!”

Sonny radios Laura and then yells,

JIGGERS!

You’re never going to be a drug lord that way! The other guy beats a hasty retreat into the park:

With the suspect apprehended you tell him to hoof it out of the park:

With his suspect back at the car Sonny searches him:

“Oh no!”

Sonny looks over the ID card and sees that our suspect’s name is Victor Simms, a student at Jefferson High School

(That gun would have killed Sonny if he had come out without saying “Halt” or having his gun unholstered…)

Sonny pumps Simms for information:

The other suspect, Colby, isn’t as helfpul:

With both suspects apprehended and questioned Sonny and Laura take them back to the jailhouse. Where you can guess Sonny has to once again put his gun in a locker before entering the jail. Inside he books the two for drugs:

After booking them and delivering them to their cells Sonny and Laura return to the Station:

This game brought to you by DARE

Welp, here we are at the Blue Room again. What depressing personal story will Jack have for us now?

“That can’t be good…”

DON’T DO DRUGS!

“Jack, maybe you and your daughter should take some personal responsibility for this situation?”

See what I mean about the Blue Room just being a depressing place? Only bad things happen here!

This is literally the longest day in history… Back at the station, in Morgan’s office:

Sonny heads over to evidence to get another look at Taselli’s aka Hoffman’s little black book:

This is how Detective work works!

J.M. must be that Jose Martinez Simms was talking about and H.D. is probably the Hotel Delphoria… Let’s see what else we can dig up:

Using the latest in technology from 1989! A single computer!

Sonny types in the serial number from the gun he lifted from Hoffman:

With the number the computer spit out he goes to his office and gives the number a call (do realize how hard work was before cell phones?)

“Lucky you. Unlucky for Lytton…”

Next, Sonny calls the crime lab and asks about the gun we found:

Sonny then went to Morgan’s office to tell him what he learned but his boss is out of the office, back at his desk:

Operation Trick Trap was a success!

Back in Morgan’s office:

“Why does everyone thing I care about this whore? We just went to school together! Wait.. a sec, I mean yes, her curvacious, disease riddled body fills my red-blood american body with urges!”

Sonny speeds to the jail to secure his beard, I mean cover!

Sonny tells her about his plan to make everyone think he is straigh.. I mean Morgan’s plan to use Maria to help Sonny create a cover for infiltrating the Hotel Delphoria

Everything is coming up Sonny!

“Yes, everyone is buying this!”

Those Damn Nipples

If Sonny was straight he’d know that his face wouldn’t be where his blood would be rushing…

On the way back to the Department:

Whatever you think next, Sonny swears he is not a necrophiliac and that he was just doing his job:

With Hoffman dead the only lead Sonny has now is the illegal gambling going on at the Delphoria… Back at the Department:

The Sting

Before Sonny can leave, Sgt. Dooley steps in:

DON’T DO DRUGS! OR YOU WILL DIE IN A COMA!

Undercover, but the boring kind…

Sonny, being a sensitive soul has a call to make before he dyes his hair and gets into character:

With that sad duty Sonny heads back to the locker:

Take one last look at strapping, raven haird beauty Sonny Bonds:

and say hello to sexy bombshell Sonny Bonds:

With his hair dyed Sonny gets into his outfit (and reveal the police officer who wrote this game’s Petite bourgeoisies attitudes and feelings towards the lower classes)

Back in Morgan’s office:

Gambling it all on Gambling!

With the briefings done Sonny heads towards the endgame at the Hotel Delphoria:

and the hardest part of the game, the Delphoria’s driveway:

Do you know how many times I’ve died trying to get to the Delphoria? Hundreds, I’m sure. Why? Because its at a diagonal and those are really hard to do when all you have are the arrow keys. I died four of five times on this playthrough even!

After many deaths and reloads I finally get it and Sonny enters the hotel:

Sonny rings the bell, rents himself a room for $100, and then enters the bar:

beer

Social Engineering 1

Those two guys don’t look suspicious at all!

Next, Sonny gives the bartender a big tip for the beer ($20)

With an invitation the game in pocket Sonny and Marie head up to his room, to notify his boss

Into the game!

Once into his room, Sonny uses the phone to call Morgan and report on their progress:

“Well, that was unhelpful!”

With her job done Sonny calls Marie a cab and then returns to the Bar:

Read ’em and weep boys! I’ve got a pair of eights!

Sonny waits there for a bit with the two strangers and the awkward silence until a fourth player comes in from the back:

And this my friends is where I as a child of ten and my brother at fourteen learned to play the game of poker.

It’s an incredibly simple version of the game. Each person gets five cards, you can change out up to three cards once, and you go through only two rounds of betting until call. You starts with around $700 dollars and have to play until you lose it all (and the game) or win around $300. The best way to do this is to save scum. And that is what I do! It’s a tedious process of saving and loading until you get the hand you want, winning some coin, saving the game and then repeating the process!

Before too long though:

With the first game over Sonny returns to his room and waits for his back up to show up:

We talk to one of the backup guys to get out transmitter:

And then head back down for the BIG Game with the BIG Fish!

Next time, the thrilling conclusion to Police Quest: In Pursuit of the Death Angel!

Bust?

We meet back up with Peace Officer Sonny Bonds on his second patrol shift of the day:

He’s only been out a few minutes when:

After a short chase, seriously I remember as a kid gaving to chase this guy around half the city, he didn’t make it a full block…

When we radio the car in:

Bond’s gut is telling him something ain’t right about all this. He calls for backup:

*tinny 8-bit scary music begins playing*

Sonny gets out of his car, loads his gun, aims it and yells out to the driver:

Get out of car with hands up

lie down

Bust!

How many times has Bond been here? Standing over a man lying on his stomach, waiting? Wait there’s something missing!

cuff man

Yeah, that’s just how Officer Bond likes it! Sonny searches the man only to find:

Well, that was anti-climatic

“Damn! That could have killed me!” (if you tell the man to just get out of his car he kills you, if you tell him to do it with hands up but your gun iisn’t drawn he kills you, if youre gun is drawn and you tell him to come out with his hands up but you didn’t load your gun? He kills you.)

“Uh-huh, you and my grandma both!”

Before Sonny leads the man to the back of his car and puts him in he reads him his rights:

Sonny reads them anyway and places the man in his backseat, before handing the gun over to his twin he looks it over:

That serial number is important for some reason, because I got points for looking at it! With the suspect secured he checks out his vehicle. First, the trunk:

Done, with the trunk Sonny moves to the interior, but notices something about the door:

“Didn’t Dooley say something about a black cadillac?”

The inside of the car is clean except for the glove compartment:

Book ’em Dan’o!

Inside the notebook we find:

Some sort of evil doers “todo” list

the licenses:

Sonny leaves everything where he found it so that it can be impounded with the car and returns to his car. Destination? Jail!

In no time Sonny reaches the jail:

(so polite, so professional!)

“got to make that quota!”

For a cop Sonny’s insults are remarkably tame, I had a fouler mouth in 3rd grade…

Anyway, Sonny puts his gun in the locker and escorts Hoffman into jail:

drugs

Moving on Up! Moving on Up!

Sonny hands over the booking slip, takes his cuffs, and leads Mr. Hoffman to his suite. On the way out:

So we head back to the LPD, after pickin our gun up from the locker. In Dooley’s office:

(sissy)

What does the memo say?

As you already know by now. Sonny can’t just change clothes he has to take a shower, so he does, changes, grabs his gear and heads to his new bosses’ office

*Gratuitous Shower Shot*

Over one office:

Listen up Newbie!

“As am I. Laura, have I ever yold you what a magnificent beard you would make?”

“What’d you say?”

“Um! Nothing please show me around!”

“Do you think I’m retarded Laura? I know what a clipboard is, a key board is pretty self explanatory and I’ve known how to use a filing cabinet since at least high school, at least!”

Anyway, Sonny now has to figure out a way to make sure Mr. Hoffman doesn’t get out on bail. He starts by checking out the news clippings on the clipboard:

“Don’t care.”

“Don’t care.”

“Don’t care.”

“Don’t care”

“This guy looks familiar!”

Sonny takes the FBI bulletin, grabs a car key, and heads over to the filing cabinet (thanks Laura for letting us know what it was!)

“Huh, both of these guys have the exact same height, weight, and tattoo. What a coincidence!”

Sonny grabs the file and heads out to the parking lot:

That sweet ride in the upper right corner? That’s the unmarked car Sonny will be using the rest of the game. He performs the safety walk around and heads to the courthouse (it’s across the street from the jail)

Tittie Twister

“I need to speak to Judge Palmer”

“What if I told you it was an emergency? Cause it is!” *flash badge and wave gun wildly around*

“That’s what I thought…”

“For Marvin Hoffman your Honor.”

“If it please your Honor please take a look at Hoffman’s arrest record and this FBI most wanted bulletin.”

“A little dense are we Judge? Um, I mean the tattoos on “both” men your Honor!”

It appears everyone in this courthouse has the sense of humor of a ten year old…

With the warrant in hand Sonny rushes across the street!

Is this a Bust or a Sting? I need to know for my diary… A Stake out? Okay!

Sonny hands the jailer the Judge’s warrant:

And that is why kids you don’t get tattoos!

Ensured that Mr. Hoffman will be enjoying the amenities at Lytton Jail Sonny returns to the Police Department:

Sonny and Laura drive to the west side of Lytton and the park on the way they discuss fashion, interior design and other cliches that define both women and homosexual men

As Sonny gets out:

“This must be the place, but I can’t just stand out here in the open. I better find myself a hiding spot!”

Using his inner three year old Sonny finds the perfect spot to wait for the drug deal:

You’re so clever Sonny!

Now he, and we, must wait for the deal to go down! Until next time!

Showers for Everybody!

Distracted by dreams of getting out his uniform blues, Sonny failed to notice all the yelling as he went down the hall into PQ headquarters:

“Gremlin? Internal Affairs? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Well, that was uninformative.” Sonny walks around to see if he could figure out what the deal was:

“Chicken? Comical? What the hell is going on here?” Sonny goes into the Sergeant’s office:

“That’s not the only thing that is getting excited standing here alone in the Sergeant’s office. His salt and pepper hair, the tiny pouch that’s starting to develop from too many donuts and too much desk work…”

With nothing to say and becoming overwhelmed by the Sergeant’s presence Sonny excuses himself:

“I can’t wait to see him, Fat Sonny!”

Not having a life of his own, Sonny decides to go to the Blue Room. But first, shower time! (Please go revisit the sexy pic of Sonny Bonds showering shown earlier in the thread, bask in the glory.)

(Yeah, that’s racist)

“But, I’m off!”

Okay, here it is! The screenshot you’ve been waiting for:

Once done with the shower Sonny changes into his civvies and grabs the keys to his ‘vette

Welp, that’s a boring outfit. No wonder he has trouble picking men up down at Lytton’s gaybar, the RAMROD

(some more racism compliments of Sierra On-line)

To the Blue Room

“They serve BUD here? I love BUD!”

I bet Sonny has a wide stance…

Sonny takes a seat and chats Jack up

I think Jack is DEPRESSED. His daughter might be doing DRUGS. No, not DRUGS!

before Jack can tell us more some more cops show up:

“A woman?! Ah ma.. I mean, uh, This is so hot! I definitly am becoming aroused by this display of female sexuality!”

The look on Jack’s face here is hilarious to me for some reason.

(I don’t know why he had to stand, it’s not a lap dance if you’re standing…)

Back to Work

“That his wife is definitly leaving him now?”

ugh, no wonder no one likes cops. James Walls was the writer and designer of this game! He could have made cops as cool as he could imagine them and this, THIS, is what he came up with…

“WTF, Kieth? that’s seriously not cool. I just worked the day shift! Man, you suck.”

So, Sonny drives back to Police HQ, showers, and changes back into his blues:

That last comment is probably classist, sexist, statist or something. I’m going to go on record that this entire game is moderatly misogynestic.

“What happens in the locker at Police HQ stays in the lockers at Police HQ”

Sonny finishes his shower grabs his gear, his radio, and his patrol key cars and then heads into briefing:

(Imagine yourself writing all this down when you are playing the game and then imagine you transcribing your notes into the game using the take note feeature. Why do that? To ensure you got all the points in the game!)

Back out on Patrol

With the Briefing over Sonny checks his pigeonhole:

“Not illegal high-stakes gambling!”

Sonny doesn’t waste his time making notes or recognizing things. Oh no, he vows!

Yup, you got to do that everytime!

And with that Sonny hits the mean streets of Lytton just after getting off of them for 20 minutes. Crime never sleeps, I suppose…