Is this the serious one or the casual one?

It is most definitely going to be the casual one, I feel. I slept in way too late today… Not getting up until 11:30 today. My alarm went off at 9:30am it effectively opened my eyes for about 45 seconds. So since I’ve committed myself to writing 62 posts in 31 days, what am I going to right about? The casual posts will probably be about just my life, random thoughts, and philosophical musings. For the posts that I am calling “real” I have an assorted number of projects that I am going to post snippets of here. You can expect to see parts of my review for the book, Soon I Will be Invincible. You’ won’t have to read that I’m telling you now it’s a book worth buying. Also going up will be my retro review of Falcom’s NES game Faxanadu, which I’m playing through right now. A review of Atlus‘ more contemporary Odin Sphere. I’m still trying to put together a larger piece on the influence of Gothic literature in video games, you can expect some of that here as well. I have a smattering of other projects that will appear or you could see rants of a more serious nature, ones that I have given more than just a few minutes time too.

In other news, I continue to study for the GREs, next week I’ll look at the LSATs. The vocabulary section is the same on both, so that cuts down on studying. Two birds with one stone. It isn’t the vocab section I need to worry about much anyway. I’m pretty good at that part it is the math section that is going to kill me.

anyway, that’s it for now. Look forward to another post tonight.

Thoughts on Productivity

I’ve read David Allen’s book, I regularly visit Merlin Mann’s site 43 folders, as well as a long list of other sites. I use the hipster pda and a PIM. I am no stranger to the ideas and concepts that various productivity gurus advocate in their book, on their website, and in interviews. Understanding how I process and control information isn’t something I have a problem with. All of that is easy enough and I think I’ve been able to increase my productivity through applying these concepts in my life.

All of the above is not the problem for me.

It’s time and drive.

These are the issues that defeat me every time I attempt to re-organize my life. I’ve tried taking big steps. I’ve tried taking baby steps. The end is the same. Despite all my organization, info capturing techniques, etc, etc. It all falls apart because I can’t manage my load. Or when I am somehow organizing it I’m so burned out from doing so that I have no desire to work on the projects that do interest me. The things I want to do get pushed aside by the actually planning of them.

I want to do things. My list of projects is only getting bigger and I feel the ideas that I’m putting down are getting better. But that’s as far as it goes. Looking at the list now is daunting. I’m afraid to even begin tackling it. What is it that is preventing me from making actual progress? Why can’t I shape the time I have available to me? Why is it that my free time is filled with me loafing about always?

What is stopping me? What am I afraid of?

A new plan…

It’s so much better than the last one…

I was doing so well too, for a while there I was updating here almost once a day. Impressive, no? Then things fell apart. When I say fell apart I mean I got distracted. So here is the new plan. Tomorrow is the first of July, My goal is to write here at least twice a day. One of the posts will be something of substance, the other will be me just shooting off my mouth. The goal is a minimum of two posts each day. If I can do more I most definitely will.

I know I’m going to be distracted but I’m trying to commit myself to this. It’s just 31 days… let’s see if I can do it

Obligated

If you scroll down to the bottom of this post you’ll see the time stamp. I realize that 2:30 in the morning isn’t all that late (or early). It is a lot later than I’ve stayed up in a good while. I’m usually in bed by 1 AM these days. I don’t know why I am not tired. I was up early, swam, worked, and etc. By all accounts I should be tired. I SHOULD be asleep in my bed, having dreams I will not recall in the morning.

But I am not.

Should I worry? How long has it been since I went off Lamictal? I think it was near the end of last summer, almost a year… I count myself lucky, in that time I can only recall one cycle. It was short lived. I like to think that everything is under my control, but I’m not that naive. It comes and goes as it chooses, I have little control over that. The question of course is, am I manic? If so, how long will I be so? How long will the depression last? How deep will it be? Maybe I’m jumping the gun and all these doubts and worries are unfounded. I hope that is the case. I’m going to keep acting as if it is, unless something happens that proves to me that it isn’t.

What do I do if it is? I don’t know. I really don’t. I don’t have a contingency plan for it, even if I did in the middle of it I can’t be sure I’d follow the plan.

Finished a book today, I’d tell you what it is but then you’d know what it is I’m working on and I don’t want to ‘ruin’ it for you. When I have something substantial. Something worth sharing I might put it up here, a piece of it.

Anyway, good night.

%d bloggers like this: