The Simpsons Movie

I just came back from seeing it. There is nor need for me to review this movie. If you are now or have ever been a Simpsons fan you are going to like this movie. If you’ve never watched the show (WHO ARE YOU?!?!) the movie isn’t going to do anything for you, you’ll laugh but that’s it. Fan or not a fan its funny. If you haven’t gotten it yet, you’re never going to.

There are plenty of little easter bunnies in the film for long time fans, things that will make you laugh, only if you’re well versed in lore, but they’re not intrusive. You don’t need to know the Simpsons to appreciate Groening’s humor. Oh, yeah Groening wrote the script, which is good. I think for the television show he’s only a consultant anymore. I sometimes wonder if this move by him and the other creators wasn’t an attempt to end it all, like in the Producers… The movie isn’t as edgy as the Simpsons used to be, though Groening is spot on with some of the social commentary. I don’t see how any show in it’s 15th season can stay edgy anyhow. The people who used to complain about the show and what it was doing to culture are no where to be found anymore and the show has become an icon, a stay of television. How different it was in the early 90’s…

can he swing from a web? No he can’t, he’s a pig

A Small bit of Information

I’m going out in about an hour to see the newest Harry Potter movie, the 5th one I believe. It doesn’t look too bad, I’ll let you know when I get back from it though. I joined a book exchange site today, it’s called BookMooch. You sign up and make a list of the books you are willing to give away. Then you look for books you might want. People ask for books on your list and you mail them to them. They do the same for you. It’s based around a point system, so the only money involved is what you pay to ship (parcel post). I signed up a couple hours ago and I already have requests for several of my books. As I use it more I’ll tell you how it goes.

That’s it really, but you know keep your eye here for cool stuff. Later. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Bullfinch’s Mythology

I’m pulling it out. Why? Because I need to brush up on my mythology and folklore. I’m liking these fairytale pieces I’m doing, but it’s been a really long time since I’ve read any folk tales and such so I need a refresher. I have a copy of Bullfinch’s and a big book of folkways too. I don’t have any collections of the Bros. Grimm work though or anything else. I might have 1001 Arabian nights, but maybe not. My guess is that it’s at home in southern California. Also I have access to a medieval bestiary which should provide endless inspiration for slightly off color posts.

Pokemon Pearl is a long game. I only play it at work and at this rate I’ll never beat it. Yes, I play pokemon! It’s a great game with solid mechanics, graphics, etc… I won’t say anything about how Nintendo has marketed the hell out of the thing, that’s their prerogative. So I’m going to start Dragon Quest Heroes and we’ll see how that goes. Not much to say so I’ll end it here.

That’s it for now

Fairy Tales, part 2: Hansel and Gretel, violent street thugs.

Who doesn’t love this quaint fairy tale that shows children overcoming adversity and sticking it back at the adult world. It’s just so tragic as well. Their evil step-mother bitches about having to feed these kids over and over. I mean they never stop eating! God, it’s like they’re growing or something. Their father, a poor wood-cutter, finally succumbs to her endless demands and abandons them in the middle of the forest. Hansel and Gretel though are smart cookies and had been eavesdropping on their parents conversations. So they knew what was up and left a trail of pebbles to find their way back home. Go Kids! This is repeated again, but for some reason this time they don’t have rocks, they only had bread. They leave a trial of breadcrumbs but every selfish animal in the forest just eats their way back to safety. Well that sucks. They wander around in the woods for awhile until they find another house, this isn’t any house though, it’s gingerbread house!? Sweet! Wait… a witch lives in it and she captures the two of them. She starts fattening up Hansel while making Gretel her slave. Hansel tricks the witch that he isn’t getting any fatter, fed up with waiting she tries to cook his sister, there is a struggle, the witch falls in the pot. Bam! problem solved. Gretel frees her brother, they find a bunch of gold and jewels in the witches house. They then leave the house and find their way back to their own home. Daddy is so happy to have them back, even better while they were off in the woods their stepmother died! Score! Happy Endings all around.

But Wait!

What the Fuck is going on in this thing? If I was a poor wood cutter and I had two “great” kids and one harpie of a wife. Why not ditch the ball and chain? She eats just as much as the kids do, leave her in the woods. Food shortage solved and now he can go out at night with friends. I can guarantee you if this woman couldn’t stand her husbands children, she wasn’t going to tolerate his loser friends.

Next the children. Innocent Hansel and Gretel. No, these a wicked kids. They eavesdrop, trespass, vandalize, murder, and then robbery. My guess is that their stepmother wasn’t upset about them eating all the food, she probably feared for her life.! Violent thugs living down the hall from you and their father justs sits. He let’s them get away with everything! You can’t just come up to someone’s house and start eating i!? It’s not theirs! The witch had every right to capture these kids. They were on her property, not only that they were destroying her house! What would you do if two hooligans jumped your fence crossed your lawn and then started taking chunks out of your home? You’d call the police, or you’d shoot them, But if you were an old lady, who’s lived alone in her gingerbread house for ages and is maybe a little gone, you’d capture and decided to eat them, perfectly reasonable. Another point, why the hell would animals eat a trail of lousy bread crumbs when there is an entire house made out of candy just sitting in the middle of the forest! Fuck crumbs! I want cake, and so do wild animals. Everything wants cake.

I’ve already stated that the old lady was crazy, why else would she live in the middle of no-where in a house made of food which is fool of treasure and then try to it the stringy runts who deface your property? With that kind of loot she could be living the high life in the city, if she still wants children there are plenty of street urchins, how often do kids get lost in the forest? How often do they stumble upon your tiny house? I bet she put up signs. How else would anything find your elaborate, completely inefficient child trapping home? This old lady could learn some pointers from pedophiles, they just use their shitty internet connections and beer. Besides prepping kids sounds too complicated and involved, I’d just have shot them and made a normal dinner.

They get back home after destroying this old lady’s life to find out that their stepmother is dead as well. What great luck. In the real story though it wasn’t a step mom it was their normal mom. So what does that mean? “Scholars” think that the mother and witch are the same person. If that was the case then I can only say this, that is one dumb fucking woodcutter… At least there weren’t any pedophile dwarves, though they could have livened it up a little.

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