Thoughts on Atheism and being Alone.

I’m an Atheist and so I believe that the universe and this planet were not created especially for us humans, and that it moves on unaware of us and uncaring. Indeed it can’t do either as it isn’t a person and doesn’t have any intelligence. I was raised a Christian and I sometimes miss the wonderment and mystery that theology brought me, feelings I believe every faith brings to its followers. Let me explain:

I’m going to talk about Christianity first as it is the most popular religion in the USA, the modern Church doesn’t talk about it much, they like to play down the supernatural parts of their religion, for some reason they’re still trying to compete with Science which is a game you can’t win, but anyhow. There is all sorts of magic and mystery to the Christian faith. All types of angels, legions of demons, lesser gods, demi-gods, earth spirits, witches, the mystery of blood sacrifice, the mystery of communion, saints… On and on. A Christian world is one full of invisible and powerful forces working for and against you, forces that can be controlled or turned to your will! That’s pretty amazing! The same goes for the worlds that Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists, and every other theistic or supernatural inclined person lives in. The world I live in is empty, vast and completely indifferent to my struggles, furthermore it is indifferent to the struggles of everyone and everything. Humanity is alone in it. If we are not alone we are separated from anything else by such vast lengths that we will never know them and they will never hear from us. So yeah, a materialistic view of the universe can be full of wonder and mystery but it is a distant, uncaring one.

As a human I instinctively want the world and the universe to care about me. Narcissistic? Yeah, but that’s Humans for you. Religion answers that need, it makes you feel safe and cared for… I miss that sometimes…

Random Code – Previous Post

So the previous post, the piece of poetry… It looks better over at my DeviantArt account. They let you use text formating over there that WordPress seems to be ignoring. If you want to see how the poem is suppose to look please follow the link below. If you want to hear how it sounds, you’ll have to wait for me to do a reading, or read it out loud to yourself and those three lines after “three” pause, breath out and sigh. Then return to the litany of the poem.

So why write a poem about OCD? Well, you write what you know 😛 Seriously though, it seems funny and cliche that someone would sit in front of a door turning their key in the lock over and over, and of course it is funny, it is ridiculous actually. Makes for great comedy on the television, except for the person stuck there doing it. They’re stuck in a loop, if you know something about code you can say their stuck in a bug, a bad “if…then” statement. But for some reason they’re brain much like a computer can’t break the loop. Not without a lot of anguish on their part. If you know someone with OCD or suffer from it yourself please look into it, there are a lot of ways to deal without. Many don’t require any drugs at all. Oh, and give that person a hug and let them know you’re there for them.

DeviantArt Link 

Inside, I’m Screaming

turn the key

back

and again

pull it out

breath

walk away

one step

two step…

three.

put the key in

turn the key

back

and again

pull it out

breath

walk away

one step

two step…

three.

put the key in

turn the key

back

and… wipe the

tears out of

my eyes…

again

pull it out

breath

walk away

one step

two step…

three.

put the key in…

An Artist’s Pen

I lost my pen,

Maybe it doesn’t

matter

but it was mine!

and I need it

what is this?

A BIC!?

What the Fuck!

I’m a fucking artist

I need my fucking

fountain pen

this ink

does not inspire

the feel of this

pen is wrong

I’m sure

I’ll have a blister

after writing

this…

I’ve been patient

so I’ll say it one

more time nicely

where is my god-damn

Christ loving pen,

you bourgeoisie pieces

of shit!?

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