Category: Let’s Play

Drop it Dirtbag! False(B)logic enters the World of Law Enforcement, Let’s Play Police Quest Part Three

Coming to the Aid of all Waitresses, Everywhere

Peace Officer Sonny Bonds had just disappointed a Heterosexual Female when he gets another call:

The plague of every dashing attractive homosexual cop, women can’t get enough of them. What a heartbreaker!

Sonny heads back to Carol’s

Where he finds the problem:

Sonny heads inside to talk to Carol:

(a little more of the resentment Jim Walls channelled into his video game)

On the way over to Wino Willy’s:

“Did I do that?”

As soon as Sonny walks into the bar:

Sonny approaches the bar and the presumed leader of this motorcycle gang:

move bikes

ask nicely

I’ll show you mine if you show me yours!

Okay, next time we’ll just be a dick to these assholes:

use nightstick

We all know who has the bigger “stick” here, don’t we boys? You may now retreat in shame… so much shame…

Once all the ruffians are gone:

ask drugs

Being the nice guy he is, Sonny drops some info on Sweets:

Outside, Sonny notes that the gang has left:

GADD (Gays Against Drunk Driving)

And it’s back to patrolling for Officer Bonds… When he spots in the suburbs:

Sonny hits the sirens and eventually (I died so many times running after this guy, driving with the arrow keys isn’t always easy) pulls the car over:

Sonny gets out of his car and approaches the perp:

Sonny asks him to get out of the car:

look man

give field test

cuff man

“Hell no! Do I look like I just got off the turnip truck”

If we had cuffed him with his hands in front that last screen is where the drunk would slam his fists into the back of Sonny’s head, ending the game.

Once we’ve got the drunk into our patrol car we head for Lytton City Jail (which is on D2, I think. Check the map readers!)

Behind Bars

Sonny goes to the door, opens a locker, and deposits his pistol inside before buzzing into the jail:

“Nice digs.”

book man

drunk driving

As we’re leaving the Jail:

I dream of NARC

Laura has good news for Sonny:

The Jailor though shakes Sonny from his dreams of wearing pleated khakis and polo shirts to work:

(Dooley is the squad or shift sergeant. He’s the guy who gave us our orders at the morning meeting)

He also might be hot for Sonny… Double secret forbidden love! Sonny grabs his gun on his way to the Police Station:

(Ohhhh! It was D3! So close… the Police station is just north of this on C3)

before he can exit his car Sonny has to put back his nightstick back somewhere in the patrol vehicle and then he heads in:

write memo

put memo in basket

With dreams of “dressing casual” dancing in his mind Sonny goes to see what Dooley wants… a promotion? A clandestine rendezvous? performance review?

Find out next time!

Drop it Dirtbag! False(B)logic enters the World of Law Enforcement, Let’s Play Police Quest Part Two

Coffee? COFFEE!

When last we left Peace Officer Sonny Bond he had just received a radio transmission from fellow Officer, Steve McStevedotter, who wanted to meet up with Sonny at Carol’s. Seeing as doing his job is almost always as a secondary duty to Officer Bond he heads that way now:

Carol’s is just west of where we were and Sonny is there pretty quick:

Maybe a little too quickly? Let’s try that again!

“Come on!”

Okay, this time Officer Bond obeys all traffic laws and manages not to crash into the back of another car:

Sonny takes a look over the menu:


I think we’ll stick to coffee. Sonny takes a seat across from Steve and tries to strike up a conversation:

Steve seems incapable of talking about anything but the weather… One wonders why he even called me here? Carol eventually arrives with my coffee:

drink coffee

Patrolling

Steve and Sonny go back to not talking. In the background the phone rings:

Oh, Steve wasn’t so much wanting to talk to us as the writer of this game couldn’t think of a better way to deliver this bit of information:

use phone

Sonny tries one last time to strike up a conversation with Steve:

*sigh*

With nothing else to do at Carol’s and with some small part of the story having been dribbled out, we leave. Sonny hits the almost perfect grid-like streets of Lytton:



The life of a Police Officer seems to consist of wasting gas, mostly.

Hot Blooded

While cruising the mindnumbingly similiar suburbs of Lytton:


“I did see it!”

F10

F10 turns your sirens on and Sonny is in hot pursuit!

That last bit of commentary is provided by the game unsolicited. I don’t want to think that the creators were being classist, sexist and bitter… But it kinda seems that way!

use radio

Sonny walks over to the car and looks in:

look woman

Hahahah! Your efforts are wasted stunningly beautiful 16-bit 2d woman! Peace Officer Sonny Bonds loves no woman!

But! If he was heterosexual:

get number

FUN FACT: The heterosexual male will do just about anything for, as you call it, “torrid sex.”

Hetero Daydreams

With the young lady’s number in his mitts Sonny heads to the closest phone he knows of (how did people live before cell phones?):

hi sexy

Hetero’s never win (except for all that stuff that they do!) Back to Gay Sonny:

“Miss, please stop. Your feminine charms are wasted on me. Now if you weighed about a hundred pounds more and had a mustache. I might be interested. License please.”

“Afraid not Miss. I’m going to have to write you a ticket”

Sonny hands back her license and the ticket to sign:

give ticket

“Stick and stones, Ma’am. You have a good day!”

Drop it Dirtbag! False(B)logic enters the World of Law Enforcement, Let’s Play Police Quest Part One

Welcome to the LPD

Now figure it out yourself!

Police Quest begins in the central room of the Lytton Police Headquarters. That’s us, Sonny Bonds, standing there stupidly.

Not that informative. Let me fill you in the top barred window is evidence the top right door leads to the briefing room, the bottom right leads to the locker the top left door leads somewhere, I forget… Anyway as a closeted homosexual Sonny hits up the lockers first:

Continue reading “Drop it Dirtbag! False(B)logic enters the World of Law Enforcement, Let’s Play Police Quest Part One”

In Deepest, Darkest Fricana:Let’s Play QfG 3 Part 8

To the Lost City!

With all the other monkeys across its time for Garcon. But how? Well, the same way he’s crossed every other problem in this game:

use magic grapnel

Once across Manu resumes his telling of the horrors of the Lost City, but he’s soon interrupted:

Against some sort of demonic worm, I gather!

For a thief, Perseii is pretty hardy and his strategy here is to just stab and magic away at the worm until it collapses:

Of course, it soon does:

Manu’s praise doesn’t last long:

Eventually we arrive at the lost city:

Into the Lost City

Jackson tries to explain to Manu why he can’t just leave:

We ask Manu about that secret door he said he wasn’t going to tell us about:

That seems simple enough, we thank Manu for all his help ask him a few more questions about the city and its tenants and then say goodbye:

After leaving Manu, Garcon descends into the ruins:

How convenient! There is the jackal statue right there and just below it the wall panel! Garcon waits for the caveman to pass and then:

As we climbed down a cave man showed up and quickly dispatched:

Next to the mural:

We use the opal on the door and:

viola! Perseii is in!

Demons, Demons, Demons

As soon as he enters the building he overhears a conversation between to monstrosities:



Where to go?

Not that way… Guess that itThe only way to go appears to be through the door on the back wall:


Inside the room Jackson finds a female liontaur he can only assume is Rakeesh’s and Kreesha’s daughter:

“correct. I’m Garcon Perseii Jackson the III and I’m here to save you, Tarna, and all of Fricana!”

“I gathered as much…”

“I’m on my way…”

“Oh, that can’t be good…”

Fighting Demons

Remember all the way back when we had the apothecarist make us a dispel potion? Remember how he made us two of them? This is the time to use the spare:

After hitting her with the dispel potion Rakeesha collapses, and then?!

DEUS EX MACHINA!


“What took so long?!”

“That’s great but we’re kind of stuck in here. As out this door is an army of demons and apemen.”

“I can respect that being a thief myself!”

“Oh, I’m sure something wiill turn up! These prophecies have a way of sorting themselves out!”

Dopplegangers and Demon Wizards

“Wait! Who’s this?!”

“I’d hug you Manu if you weren’t covered in ticks, fleas, and Sekhmet knows what else!”

“Great! Prophecy fulfilled but we still have that problem of being trapped in this room?”

“how do you know that?”

As Uhura and Rakeesh hold the door against the demon hordes the hero and his four friends go deeper into the Lost City, where they find:

“Are we just supposed to stare at our reflectio.. Oh Erana! They’re hideous!”

As you can see by Garcon’s foe’s messed up HP bar this guy has a lot of health, and Perseii forgot to eat any of his pills after the demon worm and apeman fights… whoops! Anyway time to slowly, very slowly whittle this ugly dopplegangers health down!

As you work down the demon’s life his bar slowly becomes normalish and when you get it about an eighth down look who shows up!

“How do you know anything about demon dopplegangers?”

Endgame



Hrm, how to get across that chasm? First let’s climb that pillar over there:

Then we’ll grapple across and make our way across the rope:

Uh oh, we’ve been spotted! At least he isn’t powering up the orb!

the grapple once more to the far pillar:

Better make it quick!

What now Jackson? You’re all out of pillars and all out of rope!

(yes, Garcon has chucked his magic grapnel hook at the demon wizard)

A Hero is You!

Curses! Looks like I captured this picture a little too early! Basically the magic grapnel sunk itself into the demon wizard’s forehead. The demon didn’t seem to happy about that and while flailing about knocked both the orb and himself into the portal:

I won’t ask how he get got to them…






That can’t be good!

Epilogue

“That’s my name! Now save me!”

Final stats

Final score

As you can see I failed to get a perfect score in this game. I said earlier that QfG3 is my least favorite game and the one I’ve replayed the least amount of times. I’m not as familiar with it as I am with the other three games in the series. I’m sure I did all the unique thief content. I think my missing points come from not exhasting all the dialog trees fully.
I make a save of our character to import into the next game and the credits roll!

Thanks for watching!

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