Reading Camus Pt. 2

I was amused that he posits that if he found suicide a logical consequence of the absurd world he’d commit it, knowing full well that regardless of his conclusions he hadn’t killed himself and so had found someway to rationalize life, despite initial claims to its inherent meaningless.

The first post on this topic can be found here.

After writing an extensive post on what I’d read so far in Camus, I deleted it.  It sounded too much like a book report, simple regurgitation of what I’d found in the book.  No need for me to do that here.  I’m sure the cliff notes can be found over at Wikipedia (ed. They sure can.)  Bette yet, head to your local library and check the book out, the essay is only a 120 odd pages long and well worth the effort of reading through Camus’ obstructionist style.

No, instead I rather just comment on what I’m reading and on my thoughts and reactions to them.  In the original post I wanted to compare my current thoughts on the topic to the ones I had when I first read the book, it turns out though that my annotations to the work ended just a couple of pages in to it.  I’m forced to use the most fickle and unreliable of sources, my own memory.

I remember Camus being difficult to read, at the time I merely assumed I was a poor reader.  I do not think this is the case any longer.  Instead Camus either has very poor translators, his work is not easily translatable, or, and I suspect this is the case, Camus’ style is intentional obscure and brief.  There are numerous times where Camus comes off vague or assumes we’ve already connected points A,B, and C to Z, without him having to bother to go through the remaining 22 points of his logic.  Existentialism already gets a bad rap, largely undeserved, and making your writing and argument difficult to follow will only further turn people away from a philosophy that has a lot of good in it.

Another point which I misunderstood in my original reading, and maintained in ignorance until now, was what Camus means when he talks about the absurd.  My original thought was that the universe we live in and man’s place in it was so absurd, so ridiculous, that the only way to deal with it was to admit that existence had no inherent meaning.  This is not what Camus is saying, instead Camus is saying that both nature and Man’s desires is what makes the universe we live in absurd.  Nature is a stranger to us, it is what it is and stripped of romanticism or anthropomorphism is quite alien to humanity. This fact, coupled with Man’s own desire to have life make sense, to understand it is what creates the Absurd.  “The impossibility of reducing this world to a rational and reasonable principle” coupled with Humanity’s “appetite for the absolute and for unity” is the problem, the absurd is a construct of how we as humans interact with our surroundings. This makes more sense to me now, and while digesting it I found myself in more agreement with Camus than I ever recall being on my first read.

I’m just now getting in to Camus’ critique of other philosophers who have posited the absurd (though under a different name) and their treatments of suicide.  From the his initial remarks in the beginning of the text and the title of this subsection, as well as various throw-away comments earlier. I’m guessing Camus isn’t that impressed and accuses his colleagues of giving up too soon and abandoning reason and logic to get themselves out of the “desert” as Camus calls it.  Camus says he is taking the problem seriously, a back-handed insult at others that they’ve been far to frivolous when dealing with the subject, and will see it through to the end.  I was amused that he posits that if he found suicide a logical consequence of the absurd world he’d commit it, knowing full well that regardless of his conclusions he hadn’t killed himself and so had found someway to rationalize life, despite initial claims to its inherent meaningless.

Painting Again

Necron Jackals

The Rulebook
The Rulebook

Sorry if this post is picture heavy, but talking about painting just doesn’t cut it, you got to show it!  I’ve had innumerable models just sitting around assembled and waiting to be painted.  As part of my goal to enjoy the things I already own, as opposed to lusting after stuff I don’t I wanted to get back to these and actual paint and use them.  Two weekends ago that just what I did and the pics posted here are the results.

So what are you looking at?  Models for the tabletop game Battlefleet Gothic by Games Workshop.  I already own a Necron army (fully painted) for

Necron Dirges
Necron Dirges

GW’s most popular table top game, Warhammer 40k, and wanted to have a space fleet that complemented it so, back when I was living at home and flush with excess cash I bought an entire fleet.  I assembled the models (the ones that required it) days after I got them and since then they’ve been sitting around waiting for me to get back to them, I think about 6 years…  Two weekends ago I busted out the box and my paints (most of which had to be thrown away as they’d been sitting in the closet for… about 6 years) and started painting them up!  These aren’t the best pictures, I know, if you happen to have advice on photographing small, intricately detailed objects I’d love to hear from you.  Anyway what you’re seeing is the equivalent (I think) of corvettes and frigates in-game.  Their purpose is mainly to escort my big ships in the game, keeping my opponents ships and fire at bay while mine move into position.

Necron Dirges
Necron Dirges

This was a really simple paint job.  Everything was base coated in chaos black and then drybrushed over with boltgun.  For the detail work I used shining gold, scab red, and on the larger ones a little regal blue (the colors mentioned here are from GW’s line of paints, jeez this is starting to look like a paid endorsement…).  In about 3 hours I finished 14 models.  All I have left to paint are my 6 larger vessels and then I need to find some people to play with!  I keep trying to get my girlfriend, Diana, into the hobby but so far she’s resisted all efforts at nerdification!

I’m hoping to finish those 6 models this weekend and when they’re done I’ll post pictures here.  Also, in the near future, you can expect me putting up pictures of my two WH40K armies: Ultramarines and Necrons.

Still Alive…

What things in your own life have you found yourself taking the easy route by collecting stuff instead of time and energy? For me it’s been writing and illustration. I’ve collected piles of stuff that should be used to better my craft but have still yet to put the effort into it.

What happened?!  My last post was months ago and since then the world has become a different place entirely.   New President, new Economy, new Job,  new Year.  Let’s take those in order:  I’m hopeful, but not too much.  I’m grateful I have a job and thinking about what positive experiences I can have in a down economy.  I’m excited about it and looking forward to working hard.  New year’s are much like the ones before them, except I’m older.

I’m back at the Capitol working in the Speaker’s Office as a legislative consultant for the Democratic Caucus.  I’m also been appointed to a city commission here in Davis.  The Historical Resources Commission reviews the historical assets of the city and reviews petitions to change and alter them before they go to the city council.  This is the first time I’ve actively pursued civic duty and it’ll be interesting to see how the city’s commissions work and interact with the city council and community.

As I have the time I’ll be making some changes to the site, updating the various sections in an attempt to give the site a more centralized theme and purpose.  Since my interests are so eclectic, you can still expect to see peculiar posts here at times.  Don’t get your expectations up, this is going to happen slowly.  I’m pretty busy with work and living my life.  Anyway on to the actual reason for this post:  Dilettantism!

I’ve commented multiple times over on Gamestooge about music rhythm games, Wii Music, Guitar Hero, and Rock Band, and how they don’t help people learn how to play or appreciate music more.  If anything introducing these games to children and young adults will distract them from learning the skills necessary to play music and/or turn them off to the difficulty inherent in the task as the games will difficult are easy enough to master and memorize while learning piano, guitar, drums, any instrument really is a difficult endeavor.  I’ve been having trouble putting these thoughts into words but I’ve found a great article by Rob Horning about the very same topic that is worth the read.  The problem as he sees it and the one that I completely missed is that in our consumerist world is that we’ve largely replaced mastering of a topic or area with collecting stuff regarding it!  We’ve replaced personal accomplishment with personal collections.  Instead of learning the ins and outs of music, we just collect music.  Instead of absorbing and mastering philosophy, or history, or calligraphy, or anything, we buy things that are about them and then point to these collections of stuff as a sign of our mastery/expertise without ever having to invest the time and energy that is necessary to actually master them.

Just a thought.  What do you think?  Are these just games?  Or indicators of a decline in our culture’s ability to commit?  What things in your own life have you found yourself taking the easy route by collecting stuff instead of time and energy?  For me it’s been writing and illustration.  I’ve collected piles of stuff that should be used to better my craft but have still yet to put the effort into it.

Getting back to Thinking – Part 1 – Time

Help you find some time

Remember when you were a child? Well skip a few years ahead, I can’t remember much of my childhood at all. Remember when you were a teenager? Remember all the thoughts you had?  All the thoughts you thought, all the moral, ethical, philosophical quandaries you deliberated with yourself in your head? All of the things you solved. You solved a lot and you shared it with your friends, and together you solved a great deal more!  When you took your thoughts to another adult though, one older than you, they were disregarded. Superficially investigated and then thrown away… why?  When I was a teenager I didn’t know why and it seemed awfully unfair… then I graduated from high school, got into college, began working and guess what? I stopped having those thoughts, I stopped being torn by ethical dilemmas and philosophical debates with myself and I stopped sharing with my peers.

I think I know why and how that happened, I think I know why “grown-ups” and adults don’t listen to teens.  It isn’t because we know any better, or have valuable life lessons, or whatever bullshit you were given or are now giving out. No, its because I don’t, and most other adults don’t, think anymore!  We simply don’t have the time… we’re too busy working, or pursuing our careers, or work on ourselves, or trying to relax, you can insert whatever it is you do, or see your peers doing.  When was the last time you didn’t have to worry about anything and could just think…

Been quite awhile hasn’t it?

So how do you find these thoughts?  It comes down to time. As a youth, as a teenager you had a lot of time… Time to think thoughts, follow chains of them, reject hypothesis after hypothesis and then synthesize your results from dozens, hundreds, or thousands of little conversations in your head into a cogent (mostly) theory.  All that takes time though, and once you’ve left school, and left home, time becomes a commodity more valuable than gold. So valuable is it now that careerists – those stuck on the corporate or free-lance treadmill are trying to find a way to convert their money back into time! My guess though is that you have a lot of time, you just don’t realize how much of it gets wasted.

First you need to find time then. Where?

Like I said, you probably have mcuh more time than you think you do, you just don’t know how or where you’ve spent it. Here is where something I like to call a time budget comes in.  Just like a normal bugdet, which takes expenses, cash flow, debots and credits a time budget tracks where and how you spend your time.  Keep a time journal for a week, noting how long you spend doing any item, or nothing, after keeping meticulous track of how you spend your time analyze it.  Where are you spending more time than you’d like to?  Where are you wasting time?  How better can you manage it? Once you’ve found areas of improvement, act!  Stop spending so much time in front of a screen (TV, PC, or other).

Once you’ve found the time (and you will!) it’s time to start thinking about what helps you think most!  Which is what the next post on this topic will be about.

Helpful links for finding time:

Finding Time – Stepcase Lifehack

Reclaim your Time – Zen Habits

Finding Time – In Context

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