I don’t know who, if anyone reads this blog. I assume there is only myself and perhaps one or two others who occasionally drop in to see what is going on in my life. I don’t do any of the things I am supposed to to make this site successful in anyway. I don’t link to other blogs or post comments on their forums. I pretty much write about once a day on whatever seems to be of interest to me. I assume that this will continue to be the case. I have never described myself here, I never thought it was necessary. If you read this blog you already know me personally and there would be no point in posting a picture or writing out a long description. I’ve also never poured much of myself into the site. I don’t know html and I am reluctant to attempt “learning” a new language (the BASIC, Visual BASIC, and C++ I “learned” are all completely useless to me), so the site remains in the default template with just the colors changed around. There are no pictures of me, no about section, and I’ve never once gotten e-mail from someone about the site, though the options is there…
What am I doing with this blog? Why do I continue to do it? Who am I? Finally, why should you care? These are questions I am going to attempt to answer in the next half a dozen posts or so. Perhaps I will canvas a few of my favorite blogs, try to get someone to notice me. I am not optimistic. I will answer the first question now though. This blog is my journal, where I write about the things that interest me, where I write about who I am and what I have been doing (though it has been particularly light on that subject). Why a public journal? All journals are eventually public. When you die and your children, family, or friends begin to sort through your things they will find your journals, and they will re-discover their mother, or father, brother or sister, son or daughter. They will learn how you saw yourself, this blog is the same thing, I am just not waiting for my life to expire to share all of this with you. I do so in the hopes that getting to know me, will make myself and you closer, closer to each other and to everyone else… When we realize that the people and things that we are so busily hurling our hate at, or worse our explosive devices, are just like us it, it becomes much harder to belittle, marginalize, and kill them. I realize it is a large hope and naive and idealized one, but I do not believe there is any point to being pragmatic when it comes to dreams. I also write to improve myself, I have dreams and hopes, one of those is to write. Write so that when people read what I have said they are moved, touched. That when they have put down what I felt important enough to commit forever to written words, they will have to think. They can hate what I say or they can love it, as long as they feel something. As long as they are moved and changed I have not failed. This of course has not happened, and I have the suspicion that I am failing a lot more than anyone should ever be comfortable enough. You do not get better without working and here is my work, for everyone to see. Here is where I hope to grow and improve in the craft.
I promise more. My next post will concern itself with who I am and what motivates me.