Oh Ikaruga, I remember so well the first forum posts concerning you, the sequel to that most excellent of shooters Radiant Silvergun, but you were released for the Dreamcast in 2002, long after that console was dead in the U.S. Forums were buzzing with rumors of your porting to the Gamecube, that we might be blessed with your presence here in the States. I read every scrap of news I could find on you, when I heard you’d be coming stateside I rushed to the local EB games to reserve a copy of you, it didn’t bother me that that guy behind the counter had never heard of you, had to look you up, and then proceeded to butcher your name repeatedly. Whatever.
Then you arrived and I flew over to the EB hoping they hadn’t sold my copy yet. Turns out my copy was the only one they had ordered. I took you home and slid you into the Gamecube, stoked to experience your polarity based game play. The groans and moans about difficulty I’d read on-line hadn’t bothered me. I’d cut my teeth on games like Ninja Gaiden, Alien Soldier, and Gradius, I thought I knew. I was wrong. I’ve never been so humbled by a game in my life. Everything was so simple. Why was I so bad? Shoot everything on the screen. Enemies are black or white when you match their color you absorb their shots, only dying when hit by the opposite color (when white you absorb white shots and die from black and vice-versa when your black). You only has five levels! I never got passed the third. You crushed me. Even on repeated plays I could never get higher than a B on a level. I took my licks and retreated, you were replaced by easier games, games I could beat. Then I sold you back to EB and forgot about you…
But you haunted my dreams, visions of black on white, unending, incomprehensible patterns of monochromatic shots. How could I have failed so miserably? Why had I given up so soon? Too late though to get you back, I could only find you on Ebay and the price to redeem myself was too high… until now. For ten dollars I can play you again on the Xbox 360. I eargerly paid and waited for the download to finish. Finally, I would be able to banish the doubts and vanquish my failings, I would conquer you! So I thought. Ikaruga, you are no easier now than you were 6 years ago. So my shame begins anew. The difference is that this time I’m not quitting until I’ve seen the ending credits.
Look for the objective, actual, review later this week
