This is a funny story, or it would be if I wasn’t the butt of the entire thing. Two months ago, no three, three months ago I stopped by the local Masonic Lodge. For some odd reason, which I cannot now recall, I was interested in becoming one. I think my reasoning had something to do with conquering the world but I can’t be sure. Anyway, I apparently show up a few minutes too late to get the free meal and the application… Instead I get to stand out in the hall and talk to this old man with a funny hat, a staff, and an apron. Oh and some necklace or other. I was content to just get the application, they call it a petition, but this old guy, Steph, he keeps talking to me. I figure he’s just a lonely old guy with nothing to do and no one to do it with. I humor him for a while. Apparantly he wasn’t interested in small talk and introductions! I ended up listening to him talk about the Free Masons, the United States, and half a dozen other topics for over 45 minutes?! My patience at it’s end I finally say I have a meeting, or a study session (I made it up on the spot, I had to get out of there!) He asked for my phone number and where I worked. I gave them (much to my regret later). I probably would have given him my first-born if it guaranteed I’d be able to leave.
A couple weeks pass and I forget about it. Then the calls begin. Not a few calls. No, it was every other day and he left these five to 8 minute mesages. In all fairness the Masons should pay for my phone bill for the last two months. The gist of it all was that he has my petition and needs to know a time to give it to me. I get a hold of him and tell him that if he’d bring it by Borders the people there would make sure I got it. My luck being what it is he showed up while I was on the clock. He stumbles on over to me (I told you, Steph was old) and hands me a closed envelope. I thank him and tell him I’ll bring it to the next lodge meeting. Remember I am at work, on the clock, being paid to help customers, I’m wearing the badge and everything! None of that seems to bother Steph, he begins again to wax poetic about the Masons, he might of mentioned one or two new things but most of it I had already heard during our first encounter. It took me twenty odd minutes to get him out the door. I should have known then that the Mason’s were desperate, I mean really desperate. But, no, I blindly went along. Filled the application out and waited for the first Thursday of the upcoming month.
It rolls around and I show up at the lodge or temple, whatever it is they call it. Nothing but ancient men re-telling the glory days of the Spanish American War, WWI and WWII
So I back out, and look at the mess I’ve gotten myself into
